


On Our Terms

by Banshi13



Series: Season 10 Codas [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 10.07, Angst, Coda, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-01-27 05:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banshi13/pseuds/Banshi13
Summary: "It'll be okay, Steve, I promise," Danny pressed a kiss against Steve's hair, feeling tears seep into his shirt. "It'll be okay. On our terms, I promise. It'll be okay."
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Series: Season 10 Codas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604164
Comments: 118
Kudos: 462





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _Author's Note_: 10.07 absolutely gutted me. What a tremendous piece of work, from the writing, to the acting, to the cinematography. It really did feel like I was watching a 43-minute movie. It was written so beautifully, with heart twisting dialogue and scenes that just ripped through your soul, and it was all because Alex O'Loughlin took the bull by the horns and wrote this episode to finish out an eight year story line that he so wanted to end on his own terms. It's exceedingly rare for an actor to be given so much control over an arc that has spanned so much time, but CBS and Peter Lenkov gave it to Alex, and boy did he deliver.
> 
> I am so happy and grateful that Alex had Danny come to Steve in D.C. I think with the 9.11 episode, knowing that Steve had been left in Montana for a month, alone, before anyone came to him, let alone Danny, took a lot of fans by surprise. We didn't understand why the episode had been written like that, and we could see what not Danny having around to anchor, guide, and comfort Steve did to him. Lot's of us voiced that observation on social media. So, the fact that Alex took the time to write a scene specifically where Danny takes a ten hour flight from Hawaii to D.C. to be with him, stay with him, until Steve decides to come home is so, so poignant for a lot of us, and I would like to think that Alex did that because he saw or heard the observation on social media and decided that it held enough merit to write that special, needed, and powerful scene between Steve and Danny. It shows that Alex believes that Danny is an integral part of Steve's life and psyche, and that Danny wouldn't think twice about taking the next flight out of Hawaii to anywhere in the world Steve was to be with him.
> 
> This is a coda for 10.07 for what happens after Steve throws the beer away, what happens after the bathroom door closes, what happens after Danny says, "I'm not sleeping on the couch." I just got done writing my over 120K story, but this has been running around in my head since the end of the episode, and I have to get it out on paper so to speak. Enjoy!
> 
> _Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0, as well as the characters found within the series, are owned by CBS Productions, K/O Paper Products, and 101st Street Productions. No profit is being made off of this work._

**Hawaii Five-0**

Danny wasn't sleeping on the couch. He may be short and stout, but a ten-hour flight on any plane these days was enough to make even a child-sized person fight someone for the first available bed they came across. Not that he was going to fight Steve for the bed; the guy had his arm in a sling, his ear was missing bits of skin, and his face was a smorgasbord of different cuts and gashes. But Danny wasn't going to fight Steve for the bed because he knew he wouldn't have to.

Steve was exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally. As Danny scanned the room, he saw two beers on the table in front of him, remembered the third bottle that was in the trash, and knew that it wouldn't take Steve long to want to lie down somewhere. Danny would make sure it was the bed and would do his best to help Steve fall asleep. And to do that, Danny knew he needed to be right beside his partner.

He heard the toilet flush and the sink run, and a few seconds later Steve was stepping out of the bathroom, still tired, still haggard, his eyes wide and bright and filled with so much anger and sadness that it made Danny's heart stop just for a few seconds. "You eat anything?" He asked, watching as Steve made his way back to his seat on the couch and practically fell sitting onto it. When Steve didn't answer, Danny leaned forward. "Steve?"

"Hm."

"Food. You want any?"

It really didn't matter if Steve wanted food or not. Danny was here and one of the reasons he'd flown 5,000 miles was to make sure that Steve was okay and taking care of himself. Part of that was making sure he ate, so he ignored Steve's protests and assurances that he wasn't hungry and stood up, making for the desk where, in all hotels, big, small, rich, poor, and in between, the local take out and room service menus were strategically placed. Passing up the hotel's dining menu for what looked like a locally owned pizza joint, Danny took out his phone and dialed, ordering a large pizza and a few bottles of water. "They don't do Hawaiian here in D.C.; they're civilized," Danny looked at Steve and was happy to see that comment at least a good natured eye roll from him. "But they did have pepperoni, so that's what I got."

Slipping his phone back in his pocket, Danny grabbed the remote off the desk and flicked the television on, moving to sit beside Steve and prop his feet up on the table. He felt Steve's eyes on him, but he just continued going through the channels until he found something benign and silly, a movie to occupy their time and fill the dead space in the room between now and when the pizza arrived.

"It's funnier than it looks, believe me," Danny settled in and folded his arms across his chest. "Grace was too young when it came out, but she watched it at some point when she got older, which meant I did too. It's kind of intelligent, the comedy's not bad; it's written by Saturday Night Live writers-"

"Danny."

"What?"

"Shut up and let me watch the movie." Steve slumped a bit against Danny, shoulder to knee pressed against his partner, and Danny did as he was told, not moving an inch away from Steve as he did.

By the time the pizza arrived some 35 minutes later, Steve had cracked a few smiles and had even laughed once. Actually, it was more like a huff of air, but Steve's lips had been slightly upturned, so Danny had counted it as a laugh. He'd laid out the pizza in front of them and gotten some paper towels from the bathroom and while it wasn't perfect and he would've much preferred plates, the fact that once Steve realized that he was actually hungry and had already put two slices down made Danny so happy he forgot to bitch about the lack of proper dishes. "Oh, hey, you'll enjoy this part here," Danny tapped Steve's arm and pointed at the television. "She gave her carb bars, you know, the kind that make you gain weight really quick if you need to up your weight class for wrestling or something?"

Towards the end of the movie, Steve had actually laughed – a genuine laugh – once and had (of course) known that the tie breaking answer to the math problem had been 'the limit does not exist'. Danny thought that phrase was rather representative of Steve, because often times Steve didn't know his own limits. Early on in their partnership, Danny had honestly believed that no limits existed where Steve McGarrett was involved. It was only when Catherine left the second time that Danny began to see his partner in a new light. Steve did have limits, and whether it was with his ex-girlfriend or his mother, with John McGarrett or Greer or Joe White, Steve's limit all revolved around one word: abandonment. Steve had been abandoned and so betrayed by the people in his life, by the people he should have least expected that kind of pain from. And now here Steve was sitting on a couch in an upscale D.C. hotel paid for by the organization who had caused his family so much heartache, eating pizza and watching _Mean Girls_ because Steve had reached his limit.

Danny cut the tv off as the credits rolled and sat back, letting the room fill with quiet. "You gonna take a shower?"

Steve shrugged with his good arm, letting the movement speak for him. Danny nodded. "I'm gonna go have one if you don't mind. That mouth breather smelled like he'd gotten off a barge."

"That's what that smell is." Steve looked at him and Danny saw the ghost of a smile through his beard. His mountain man beard that he'd had not even a year ago in Montana, and he was wearing that same, haunted, untrusting expression he'd had when Danny had hopped out of the car only to find Steve taking up post behind a water trough on Joe's ranch with a gun and bullets just itching to be fired.

"Yea," Danny pushed up from the sofa, looked down. "You still gonna be out here when I come back out?" The only answer he got was a grunt, but Danny accepted it and headed into the bathroom, stripping quickly and hopping into the shower. He made do with the hotel shampoo and conditioner, quickly washing and rinsing his hair before giving his body a perfunctory glaze of soap and shutting off the water. The shower was just barely over five minutes, not what Danny really wanted but he needed to get back out into the room more than he needed to luxuriate under the hot water.

Danny ran a towel over his body and found his boxers and under shirt and tugged them on, wrinkling his nose a bit. He hadn't even gone home to pack an overnight bag after learning that there was a non-stop flight to D.C. taking off in 45 minutes from Honolulu International and racing to the airport straight from headquarters, flashing lights and blaring sirens the whole way and damning the rule book the entire time. He'd used his badge to get to the front of the line, booked the flight, and made it to the terminal with ten minutes to spare before the plane took off. And as he stepped out of the bathroom to find Steve with another beer in his hands, Danny found that he didn't regret any of it. Immunity and means came in handy sometimes and he felt no guilt for using both for a personal gain, not now.

Steve was staring out the window, the Capitol's dome cloaked in a dusky sky by now, lights brightening the city scape below. It was a testament to how out of it Steve was, that he didn't hear Danny move up behind him as he raised the beer to his lips again.

"Steve," Danny's hand came between Steve's mouth and the bottle's rim. "Why don't you go shower, huh?" Danny gently gripped the beer and gave a placid tug, happy that Steve released it without a fight as he got up from his seat. "You need help with the sling?" His partner stopping and turning his protected arm towards Danny was all the answer he needed. Danny was fairly used to this by now, having worn every cast or sling known to man during his time with Five-0 and if he hadn't, then Steve certainly had. Carefully releasing Steve's arm from the sling, Danny folded it over the back of the chair and led Steve towards the bathroom, helping him take off his sweater and under shirt and then unbuttoning his partner's pants for him. "You good?" Danny looked up, caught Steve staring at him – staring through him, kind of. "Steve?"

Focus returned to Steve's eyes and be blinked. "Hm."

"You good from here or you need me to…?" Danny motioned at Steve's waist. There was literally nothing in the world that Danny wouldn't do for Steve and if Steve needed help getting his pants and boxers off then, hey, Danny was his man. Hell, if Steve needed help in the shower, Danny may have just dried off, but there were extra towels and he'd get wet again if only Steve said the word.

"I got it," Steve murmured, slipping his cargos and underwear off easily and gingerly stepping into the shower, flipping it on.

Leaving his boxers and undershirt, Danny picked up his cargos and sweater. "I'll be right outside if you need anything, Steve, okay?" He saw Steve flap his hand at him through the shower curtain and, satisfied, Danny stepped over the threshold and closed the door to the frame, leaving a slight crack.

Five minutes passed. Ten minutes came and went. By 15 minutes, Danny was thinking about popping his head into the bathroom and checking on Steve because, in all seriousness, his partner was coming up on the longest shower he'd probably ever taken in his life, and that was more than enough to cause a seed of concern to sprout in Danny's chest. When he looked at his phone for the umpteenth time and clocked the shower time at 19 minutes, Danny headed for the bathroom door and knocked softly. "Steve, babe; you okay in there?"

No answer.

Danny pushed the door open and headed for the shower. "Steve?" He heard… something. A sluice of water, a shift against tile. "Steve, I'm taking a peek, okay? Just want to make sure you're alright-" Danny tugged the shower curtain to the side just enough to see Steve settled on the floor of the shower, knees drawn up to his chest, the water pounding so hot and hard against his back that angry, red splotches were spreading over already abused and sore skin. Through it all, Danny could tell the tremor of Steve's shoulders told the story of a man crying and trying not to be heard. Danny knew that story very well, having written novels of his own after his divorce, finding out about Charlie, Grace's kidnapping, her accident, so on and so forth.

"C'mon, babe," Danny reached in and turned off the water, grabbing a towel from the rack afterwards and covering Steve's back with it. "Steve, come on. Stand up, babe." It was a struggle; Steve was over six feet and someone who was five foot whatever trying to take on someone of Steve's height was usually a study in comedy if there ever was one. But Danny managed it, getting Steve to step out of the tub carefully so that they didn't have a broken leg to add to all of his troubles, and wrapped a towel around Steve's waist.

"C'mon, sit down here, sit," Danny, with a soft, crooning voice, led Steve over to the bed and sat him on the edge while he took the time to look over Steve's back. The water had been hot, but not scalding; nevertheless, Danny left Steve to wipe at his eyes while he headed back into the bathroom. Finding some complimentary lotion, he grabbed it and went back to Steve's side, spreading some on the patchy red spots mottling the skin. It wasn't the best, but it was what they had, and Danny would rather put some moisture back into Steve's skin than not at all, not to mention his impromptu massage seemed to be calming Steve down. "It'll be okay, buddy," Danny murmured, getting off the bed and reaching for Steve's boxers. "Come on, let's get these on." He managed to get the boxers up and took the towel off afterwards before reaching for Steve's t-shirt and helping his partner slip his arms through the sleeves. The sling was the last thing to add and Danny quickly worked Steve's arm back into it, buckling and tightening it in various places before Steve sighed, nodding it was how it should be.

"You need some sleep, Steve. Okay? Did you book a home flight yet?" Danny was gratified when Steve shook his head no, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Good. No getting up early to catch a flight means you can sleep, yea? Come on, get in bed."

Just as he'd done since Danny had showed up, Steve let himself be led, let Danny tuck him under the covers, just let Danny be there for him, and Danny was as grateful for that as he knew Steve was for him showing up here tonight.

Flipping off the lights and leaving the curtains open, Danny headed for the couch and the remote, planning on watching some television a little while longer while keeping an eye on Steve. A muffled protest caught his ear as he sat down, and he looked over to where Steve was gazing at him over his shoulder. "What's up?"

"I didn't mean – the bed's big enough, Danny," Steve's voice was rough and tear laced and Danny almost vaulted off the sofa at the sound of it, his heart answering Steve's obvious want for him to be at his side.

"I was just going to watch some tv, that's all," Danny assured him as he was putting the remote back down on the table and getting up; the Jets game recap suddenly didn't seem all that important. He made his way to the other side of the bed and climbed in, getting comfortable. Steve watched him, wary, sad, so infinitely sad that Danny couldn't help but brush his fingers gently through his partner's beard. "Whatever you're thinking right now, stop it, okay?" Danny whispered. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe…" he swallowed, "and it is not your fault what happened to your mother; understand?"

The amount of relief Danny felt as Steve nodded, accepting Danny's words as if they were the only things in the universe that mattered, almost made him feel lightheaded. "She made some really bad decisions but in the end, she was your mom, Steve, and I know… I know she loved you. I know it didn't seem like it sometimes, but she had to love you because who couldn't?" Danny's finger caught the tears trickling from Steve's eyes. "In the end, she was trying to do something good, do something for you and Mary and Joanie. Maybe it was to make up for not being there for you most of your life, maybe not, but she did it because she loved all of you-" he had to stop because the sound that came from Steve made it sound like he was retching up every ounce of sorrow he had building from the last two months and then some. Danny pulled Steve towards him, settling his partner's head against his shoulder and holding him tightly, careful of his injured arm as his hand ran the length of it and Steve's back.

"It'll be okay, Steve, I promise," Danny pressed a kiss against Steve's hair, feeling tears seep into his shirt. "It'll be okay. On our terms, I promise. It'll be okay."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sleep, babe, c'mon. It's early. We got nowhere to be." Danny lifted his right hand and slipped it around Steve's neck, tugging him back down into the position he'd been in just a few minutes before. Steve had no fight left to give, certainly not to Danny, and he succumbed to his partner's hold, settling his head back on Danny's chest and releasing a tired, but content sigh. He felt fingers treading a smooth trail through his short hair, soothing the headache that had settled behind his eyes and at the base of his skull for the last two days. A thankful groan, unbidden, came from deep in Steve's chest, and he didn't even have to look up to know that Danny was looking at him, watching him, guarding him. A blanket of warmth and safety covered Steve in that moment, and, following Danny's orders, he did as he was told; he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo…. I have a lot of ideas, and one of the first things I thought of when Doris died was that Steve was going to have to tell his sister that their mother was murdered, and that this time, she wasn't coming back. What better time and way to take an extra long layover in Los Angeles to deliver the news?
> 
> I know due to time and schedules that we will likely not be able to see Taryn Manning get the news that Doris is dead, so I figured I would go ahead and take care of that for Peter and crew :D. I also adore seeing Alex and Taryn on screen together, and I wish she would come back to the show a little more regularly, but c'est la vie; I shall content myself with what I am given.
> 
> And what I create!
> 
> _Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0, as well as the characters found within the series, are owned by CBS Productions, K/O Paper Products, and 101st Street Productions. No profit is being made off of this work_.

**Hawaii Five-0**

Steve woke slowly from a heavy, deep sleep. It was the first he'd gotten in weeks and the last thing he wanted to do was move. He was warm, comfortable, safe, all the things he hadn't been since he'd left Hawaii for the tents and shacks and dirt roads of Columbia and then Mexico. He blinked bleary eyes, focusing on the soft, golden light that shone through the window of the hotel room against the opposite wall. A chin, equally as golden and slightly stubbly, inched into his periphery and Steve tucked himself a little closer to it, feeling an arm wound around his back tighten as he moved.

Danny was beside him - underneath him, really - one arm encircling Steve's lower back and the other lightly resting against Steve's side. He was almost enfolded completely in Danny's arms, but not quite. Either way, Steve was perfectly content where he was. He shifted just a little bit, burrowing into the cocoon of warmth Danny provided and closed his eyes, resting his bearded face on his partner's chest just above his heart, letting the soothing rhythm lull him into a peaceful doze as the room grew brighter with the dawn's steady light. Danny shifted under him just a little, his breathing changed, indicating he'd be waking up soon. Steve stayed where he was, selfishly enjoying the closeness of another human being, of Danny, for a little while longer before he wouldn't be allowed to anymore.

Because life… life had taught Steve McGarrett that he wasn't allowed to enjoy anything for too terribly long before it was ripped from him.

"What're you thinkin' 'bout so early, huh?"

Steve made to move, to pull away, to give Danny space, except his partner wouldn't let him. If anything, Danny's arms become stronger in that moment as he tightened his grip on Steve and held him fast. Blue eyes blinked open, questioning and rapidly becoming aware as he took in the face of the man hovering above him just slightly. "You okay?"

Steve gave a slight nod, his gaze dropping from Danny's eyes to his chin, to his neck, and finally the place where he'd been resting his head before Danny had woken up. "Sleep, babe, c'mon. It's early. We got nowhere to be." Danny lifted his right hand and slipped it around Steve's neck, tugging him back down into the position he'd been in just a few minutes before. Steve had no fight left to give, certainly not to Danny, and he succumbed to his partner's hold, settling his head back on Danny's chest and releasing a tired, but content sigh. He felt fingers treading a smooth trail through his short hair, soothing the headache that had settled behind his eyes and at the base of his skull for the last two days. A thankful groan, unbidden, came from deep in Steve's chest, and he didn't even have to look up to know that Danny was looking at him, watching him, guarding him. A blanket of warmth and safety covered Steve in that moment, and, following Danny's orders, he did as he was told; he slept.

Sometime later, when the room was brighter and the hotel's desk clock had reached double digits, when cars and buses and dump trucks could be heard rumbling on the D.C. streets below, Steve felt fingers playing along his back and still carding through his hair as they'd been when he'd fallen asleep for the second time just a few hours ago. His wounded shoulder was bothering him a little, and he should probably take the painkillers and antibiotics he'd been prescribed but he couldn't find it within himself to move from the nest he and Danny had created. Instead, he burrowed just a little further in, not yet wanting to face the world quite yet. He felt Danny chuckle softly beneath him. "Wha'?"

"Gonna need to shave your beard," Danny murmured, not stopping his petting of Steve's head or his hair. "I can feel that mountain man hair through my shirt."

"Don't have anything," Steve yawned and settled back down. Danny wrinkled his nose.

"There's a little market downstairs in the lobby, saw it when I came up yesterday," Danny rubbed at his eyes a little. "Pretty sure they have shaving cream, a razor… toothpaste."

"You need that."

"Pft. _You_ need that," Danny huffed into Steve's hair affectionately. "And we need to eat. You, specifically, need to eat; you've got meds, right?"

Steve answered with a non-committal grunt and Danny rolled his eyes, but let it go. "How you feeling, huh?" He felt Steve shrug in his arms. "I dunno, Danny; my mom's dead, I got shot again, the CIA is being as transparent as ever," Steve rolled onto his back a little, pinching his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know what there is to say," Steve stared at the ceiling, more on his back now than he was curled against Danny, so the latter remedied that and rolled onto his side a little more, propping his head up on his pillow and waiting patiently.

"I didn't realize how deep she was in," Steve started. "I mean, I – I knew from the file she'd been under for months, over a year, but I didn't – Doris was sleeping with the woman. My mother was in some kind of relationship with the leader of one of the worst cartels the world has ever known, and when… when she was talking about it, when she was telling me how she'd gotten as far as she did, it was like –" Steve shook his head, his face filling with pain as the memory assaulted him, "it was almost like she was proud that she'd managed to outlast all of those other women by exploiting something like sex to make her cover last, like she was – like it didn't matter to her that she went that route. And…"

Steve had an image, a flash in his mind, of Carmen Perez holding a gun to his mother's head, her mouth so close to Doris' ear, so familiar, so easily physical. Steve was still reeling from the knowledge that his mother had gone dirty, had turned on her country and killed her partner for money, for a payday.

"_I have to get out of this life, Steve_!" she'd cried, so desperate, so close to unhinged, and Steve had been so busy digesting what his mother had actually done that the knowledge she'd slept with a cartel leader had slipped past him until later, when he'd had time to work through the shock of watching her die in front of him and pick through her last words to him. He swallowed hard, audibly. Of course Danny heard it.

"Easy, Steve," Danny inched a little closer to him, resting an easy hand on his good shoulder. "Easy."

"Would she have ever chosen to do that?" Steve asked, voice hoarse, and not with the usual morning roughness. "On her own terms, if the decision was hers, would she have ever chosen that life? To… to… give herself like that to someone like Perez? Willingly?" He looked at Danny, and Danny could tell Steve was begging him to have an answer, one that made sense, one that would sooth every bit of anguish from Steve's mind and heart, give him some peace. Danny had an answer, but he was fairly certain it wasn't one that Steve was going to enjoy.

"You said last night that you wished she realized that all she needed to do was come home. To you. To Mary." Danny's thumb circled Steve's uninjured shoulder gently. "That was a choice she didn't make, Steve. And yea, the choices she did make… they were horrible, okay? They were awful. She uh… she hurt a lot of people, murdered a lot of people, probably, towards the end there. But those accounts that we found? As twisted as it was, I think she did all of that with you and your sister and your niece in mind. She tried to do good at the end there, you know? That's not nothing."

"Last night, you said that we live life on life's terms, or not at all, and I get what you were saying there, what you were thinking… but there's all different kinds of lives, Steve," Danny watched as Steve slowly turned his gaze on him, his cut marred brow furrowing in thought as he listened. "She chose a life that uh… that the kind of end she met was a result of the choices she made, of the life she chose. When she could've just decided to get on a plane and come home, right?"

Whether it was because he was too emotionally drained or too tired, Steve didn't know, but he had nothing but a soft, "yea" as an answer to Danny's question. "Yea," Danny smiled, kind and open and so full of love that Steve had to close his eyes so he didn't lose it again like he had last night. "Maybe life has its own terms. I don't know. But we get to _choose_ the kind of life we live… that choice is on our terms." Danny laid his head back down on the pillow, leaving his hand on Steve's shoulder, knowing the tactile approach was grounding his partner, letting him absorb at least some of what Danny was saying.

"I didn't know she was… you know?" Steve suddenly said, a bitter laugh escaping through his lips. "I guess I can add that to the list of things I didn't know about her."

"Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. People in the CIA, they gotta be chameleons, right? Have to be able to be anything, be anybody, at any time?"

"Yea, maybe," Steve rubbed his face with both hands. "What time is it?"

Danny rolled over to look at the clock on his side of the bed. "Just after 11:30." He grabbed his phone, checking for any texts or calls he might have missed, wincing when he saw Rachel's name pop up after Lou's. His thumb ghosted over her name for a few moments before ignoring the notification and choosing to open Lou's text. Danny shot back a quick response telling Lou that he and Steve were fine and that he'd call later before putting the phone back on the bed side table and turning back to his partner, who was now watching him with a knowing look on his face. "Who called?"

"Texted," Danny flopped back on the mattress. "Lou. I told him we were both fine and that we'd call later." Steve didn't say anything for at least a minute afterwards and Danny thought he'd gotten away with not having to mention who else had reached out, but Steve, even grieving and beaten up and on edge, was still sharp as a tack when it came to Danny.

"Rachel know you're here?"

Danny waved offhandedly. "Yea, she knows."

"The kids?"

"Of course," Danny turned his head to look at Steve. "They know you're here, that you're okay. I didn't tell them much, obviously, just that you got called away on a long-term assignment." He considered Steve momentarily with soft eyes. "They miss you, babe. They can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see them," Steve ground out. And he couldn't. One of the few things that kept him going besides the motivation of finding his mother and bringing her home were Danny and his kids. There were nights where Steve laid awake for hours wishing he could call Danny just once, hear his voice, talk to the kids just for a few minutes. Just once. He slowly pushed himself to sit up, wincing as his tender shoulder moved against its will. "We should book a flight home."

"Steve."

"You need to get home, Danny. Rachel's waiting for you, so are the kids."

"The kids are, yea. Rachel… not so much." Danny saw the second the penny dropped for Steve on that one. "Nothing happened," Danny assured him. "It was… just done. It was over a long time ago." He shrugged. "We're okay. The kids are okay. They know I'm here and I told them it might be a couple of days before we came home."

"But…" Steve didn't even know what he was protesting anymore.

"You're so used to putting people before yourself, being put last, that you can't accept when someone wants to put you first," Danny murmured. "Why do you think I came out here, huh? Why do you think I came to take you home?" Danny slipped out of the bed, hunting for his jeans, leaving Steve to ponder that thought. "I'm gonna run down to the lobby and get some toothpaste and stuff. Why don't you look through the menus and pick something for lunch. Or we can go out if you want?"

Steve shook his head, instantly recoiling at the idea. "The last thing I want to deal with is people."

"Then we stay in," Danny grinned, opening up his wallet and giving Steve his credit card. "Don't forget to order for me too, huh? I'll be right back."

**Hawaii Five-0**

The day was spent lazily watching ESPN, eating, and talking when Steve needed to get something off his chest. Throughout the day, he told Danny bits and pieces of his time in Mexico, about the dreams he'd had of his mother and Moby Dick and not being able to hear each other, of what she'd done to him in the bank, what she'd said to him. "She'd never hit me before," Steve said, stunned as he stared at his lo mein, "not even when I was a kid. She never hit me, and what she said…" Steve slid the Chinese food onto the table and stood up, making his way over to the window. Outside, people bustled from one place to the other, either on foot or by car. It was loud, noisy, completely normal outside.

Alive.

Danny was seriously thinking about retracting his efforts to remind Steve that his mother had some good left in her. Really, how could any parent think that money would make up for all of the faults and wrongs done to their children? But he kept himself in check, put his own food down on the table, and got up to walk over to Steve and slip an arm around his back. "I'm sorry, Steve."

He nodded. It was the only response Danny got, but he'd take it. "Look, from everything you said, from everything you've told me, it's obvious she wasn't in her right mind, you know? She'd been under with that cartel for who knows how long, her mind was warped. That wasn't your mom that hit you, that said those things-"

"Yes, it was, Danny."

"Steve-"

"It was, Danny, it was!" Steve pulled away, leaving Danny with only the chill from the window brushing against his side. "That's just it; that _was_ my mother. That's been my mother for years now, that's what life did to her!"

Danny lifted his hands, approaching Steve as he might a snarling, rabid wolf. "Okay," he soothed, "yes, that's what that life did to her. But she chose that life, babe. Like you said last night, she could've gotten on an airplane and come home anytime and left all of that behind, but she didn't and that cost her. It cost her a lot, but probably her humanity most of all," Danny came to a stop a few inches from Steve, who was looking down at him, eyes wet and angry, filled with hurt. "The woman that told you she loved you, that told you she was sorry – that was your mom, Steve. That was her. She was there at the end, yea?"

Steve pressed the heel of his free hand into his eyes, and Danny pushed forward a bit, inching Steve back until he could sit on the bed, sag against the softness. "You got a lot to work out, Steve. I know you do. But for all her faults, Doris McGarrett loved you; she may have forgotten how to be a mom, but I don't think she forgot that she was your mom, yea?" Danny snuck a hand on the back of Steve's neck and squeezed, shushing him quietly as he cried quietly against Danny's stomach. Danny let him until he felt Steve's shoulder slacken and the hitched breaths eased off into something more stable. "Hey, why don't I help you shave that mountain man bush you got on your face off, huh?"

"Don't have an electric razor," Steve mumbled, pulling back a bit and rubbing his eyes. Danny grinned. "No. But I got scissors to cut it down to something a regular razor can manage." He disappeared for a few seconds and came back with a towel and the aforementioned pair of scissors. Sniping them playfully in Steve's direction, he laid them on the bed side table before laying the towel in Steve's lap. He tugged the little trashcan between the table and the bed over and carefully began cutting at Steve's beard, piece by piece, dropping the clumps into the waste bin at his feet until Steve's cheeks and jawline resembled a badly uneven case of stubble. "There you go," Danny stepped back, laying the scissors down and picking up the towel. "Go shave, huh? There's shaving cream in the bathroom, razor's right next to it."

Steve shrugged. "Figured I'd let you do it, since you seem to be enjoying it so much," he deadpanned.

"Do I look like Odell to you? Huh?" But Danny was heading for the bathroom even as he spoke, and came back with the shaving cream, razor, and a warm, wet wash cloth. Pretty soon, he had lathered up a fairly good impression of Santa's beard on Steve's face and he set to carefully, deftly running the razor over the stubble, being especially sensitive to the marks that were still healing on Steve's face. It wasn't the best shave job in the world, but by the time Danny was done and wiping Steve's face clean of cream, Steve's eyes were closed, and Danny could almost swear he was sleeping sitting up. Wrapping a warm towel around his face made Steve open his eyes and he gazed at Danny quietly until he was released from the prison that was the soft, warm, fluffy, white fabric. Danny kept brushing the towel gently against his cheeks until Steve let his eyes lull shut again, giving into the soothing feeling of someone taking care of him for the first time in…

God, Steve couldn't remember the last time he let someone treat him like this.

"Tired?"

Steve nodded. "A little, yea," he scratched the back of his neck with his good hand, lifting his bad shoulder. "I'm-"

"Steven, if you're about to apologize to me, I will flick you with this towel," Danny warned. The sheepish look Steve ducked away told Danny he'd been right on the money. "You got nothing to apologize for, babe. Nothing." While Steve stayed sitting on the bed, Danny cleaned his makeshift barbershop and took everything into the bathroom. By the time he came back, Steve had his cell phone out and was scrolling through the screen.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for flights home," Steve landed on one flight and held it up. "I know you want to see Gracie and Charlie, but I… I need to tell Mary what happened, and I need to do it soon. I can't wait for her to come out to Hawaii and I don't want to do it over the phone-"

"Then we'll get a layover in L.A. and stay until we've seen Mary," Danny shrugged. "I miss my kids too, Steve, but they get it. And so do I." The grateful look Steve sent his way warmed Danny enough that he figured he could turn off the heater in the room for the rest of the night.

"Get a flight out tomorrow, early afternoon if you can manage it," Danny headed over to the couch and sat down, beckoning Steve over, who followed his partner's request and settled himself next to Danny, comfortably pressed against him with his good arm and still looking for flights. "There, that one," Danny stuck his finger in the middle of the screen."

"What – Danny, there are other flights on the screen."

"Who cares, get that one."

Steve huffed a bit. "Why that one, specifically?"

"Because I want to relax and watch this game and I would like for you to relax and watch the game with me, and you can't do that if you're searching through 5,000 different flights trying to find the perfect one," Danny reached for Steve's wallet on the table and got out one of his cards. "Pay for the flights to Los Angeles. I'll pay for the ones the rest of the way."

Danny was pleased as punch to see Steve tap on the chosen flight without any further argument and begin the reservation process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know. I have a thing for Danny shaving Steve's face in situations where Steve has reached his limit. To me, for two guys, it's just one of the most intimate, trusting things a man can do for another man, and I think Danny would do it in two shakes for Steve if he felt the need. If you're interested in seeing where I use this trope in another story, check out 'The Road Back to Okay'.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve put in a call to Mary. He didn’t bother to hide the fatigue from his voice when she answered and asked what was wrong. 
> 
> “I’d rather tell you in person, Mare. Danny and I are at LAX right now. We’re renting a car and we’ll be on our way to see you soon, okay?”
> 
> “Okay,” Steve could hear the nervousness in her voice. “Steve, you’re okay, right?”
> 
> “Yea, Mare,” Steve closed his eyes, breathing deeply. “I’m alright. I’ll see you soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0, as well as the characters found within the series, are owned by CBS Productions, K/O Paper Products, and 101st Street Productions. No profit is being made off of this work. _

**Hawaii Five-0**

Reagan National Airport wasn't as bad as Steve or Danny had seen it in the past, and both were eternally grateful for that. "Course, you know this means the next time we gotta fly out this way, it's going to be a mad house," Danny helpfully pointed out. Steve grunted as they made their way through security and to the terminal.

The flight itself wasn't terrible. Steve slept most of the way to Los Angeles while Danny busied himself with texting Grace and Charlie, and even with Rachel a bit. Even though he'd responded to her text during one of Steve's naps the previous day, their breakup had been an amicable one and he didn't see the need to keep her on the outs.

_We're stopping over in LA. Be there through tonight, maybe even tomorrow_, Danny hit the send button and within two minutes, had a response from his ex-wife.

_No worries_, came her reply, _as long as the children know you're safe. They're worried about you, and about Steve_.

_Tell them I'm taking care of Uncle Steve and they'll be able to see him soon_. Danny sighed inwardly, looking at the man sleeping soundly with his head against the window panel next to him. Danny had taken off his coat and put it over Steve as soon as he'd seen his partner start to nod off. He wanted nothing more than to force the plane all the way to Oahu, but he knew fighting with Steve on this one would get him nowhere, only an angrier, more guilt ridden Steve McGarrett who would fly to Los Angeles without him, so Danny had capitulated quickly and without any fight. Better for Steve to get this over with now so that he could begin to truly heal than have to wait and rip the band aid off all over again.

Touching down in Los Angeles was as lovely as it ever was. Steve had even dozed through the landing, and Danny waited until the last possible moment to wake his friend, wanting him to get as much sleep as possible. They disembarked and headed immediately for the car rental kiosks, and while Danny took care of the paperwork, Steve put in a call to Mary. He didn't bother to hide the fatigue from his voice when she answered and asked what was wrong. "I'd rather tell you in person, Mare. Danny and I are at LAX right now. We're renting a car and we'll be on our way to see you soon, okay?"

"_Okay_," Steve could hear the nervousness in her voice. "_Steve, you're okay, right_?"

"Yea, Mare," Steve closed his eyes, breathing deeply. "I'm alright. I'll see you soon." He hung up the phone as he watched Danny make his way over to him, dangling the keys to their ride in his hand. "A nice, safe, environmentally friendly Prius," Danny said, leading Steve out the doors and towards the car they'd rented.

"Yea, all except for the lithium battery they have no way of safely disposing of." Steve got in on the passenger side without complaint and pulled out his phone, typing Mary's address into the GPS. "Please tell me you've driven on the 405 before?"

"Nope," Danny turned the engine over, "and what the hell are you talking about; this is a Prius, it's a nice, solid car, reusable energy and all that."

"Yea, and where they make the batteries for this reusable car? You know what they do in the area around it, what NASA does?" Steve tugged his belt on as Danny pulled out of the lot carefully into the traffic exiting the airport. "They use the area around the plant they make the nickel for the batteries at to test moon rovers, Danny. That's how great the Prius is for the environment."

"How could you possibly know that?!"

"You realize HI-SEAS is on Mauna Loa, right? That NASA regularly tests their Mars simulator rovers there?"

"No, I didn't know that, only because I'd never had a case out there when we found a dead cowboy or anything like that."

"Yea, well, being with my military career, and that I was stationed in Virginia for a while, and at Pearl-Hickam, I know a few people at NASA. I got sources."

"You've got sources," Danny chuckled, ferrying the car over to the 405 heading north. "Where does your sister live in L.A. anyway?"

"Castle Heights," Steve shrugged. "Not filled with many castles, but it's a nice enough area, I guess. Quiet where she lives."

Danny absorbed that for a few moments. "She ever think about coming home?"

"We've talked about it a few times, yea, but… it's never really gone much further than that. And she's built a life here with Joanie. She's in first grade now," Steve managed a grin. That was never hard to do when he was talking about his niece.

"Maybe after all this is done, maybe you float the idea that she come home?"

"Yea, maybe." Steve turned to look out the window at the city (and the smog) that passed them by, and Danny took that as his queue that the conversation was over for now. Which was understandable.

The conversation Steve had ahead of him wasn't going to be all that wonderful.

**Hawaii Five-0**

Mary hadn't said a word.

Not one word.

She'd taken in Steve's appearance, his arm sling, noted the cuts and bruises on his face, the blotchy wound on his forehead where her mother – Doris – had struck him. She'd led Steve and Danny inside. She'd made tea. And then Danny went and found Joanie and offered to take her outside in the backyard to play catch with her, and Steve could see in her eyes that she knew.

"How?" she asked, sitting down after putting a cup of hot, black tea in front of her brother. "Who got her?" Steve hesitated. Over the past few days, he'd agonized over how much to tell Mary, how open to be with her and what to keep close, but the anger that pierced through his chest from her gaze made that decision very easy all of the sudden.

"Technically a cartel boss in Mexico," he sipped his tea.

"'Technically?' What does that mean?"

"I…" he put the cup and saucer down and hung his unslung hand between his knees. "I don't know how much to tell you here, Mary. Honest to God. This is – what I did, what Mom was in on, this was deep. She was in deep."

"How deep?" Mary folded her arms. Still unimpressed. Still without a shred of care so far.

"She…. The CIA tapped me to bring her in." And it all fell out after that; how the CIA had sent him with nothing, no one, no parachute out of Mexico; how he'd confirmed their mother had actually turned, gone rogue, went down the wrong path; how Doris had willingly become a drug cartel leader's lover – "whore" Mary spat. Steve didn't bother to correct her – "Danny and the team found a few bank accounts, one in your name, one in mine, and one for Joanie."

"Bank accounts?" Mary's eyes narrowed.

"Yea," Steve rubbed his hand on his knee. "Yours and mine didn't have anything in it, but Joanie's had half a million-"

"I don't want it."

Silence reigned. Then, "It's a lot of money, Mary."

"Yea, from a _drug cartel_, Steve. How long before they show up at my front door wanting it back?" Mary stood up, taking the still mostly full cup of tea with her back to the kitchen. Steve heard it land against the sink two seconds later and he was up and at Mary's side in an instant. He'd had his time to cry, and now it was Mary's turn, and for all the pain Steve had gone through in his life with his parents, he knew that it had to be ten times worse for Mary. She'd been ten years old when everything had happened, and up to that point had been the apple of her father's eye. When he sent her away, she never understood why. Whereas Steve had the Navy to fall back on and had Joe watching his back and getting him out of trouble, Mary had Aunt Deb – wonderful Aunt Deb, but only Aunt Deb, and she didn't have the family unit that went along with being in the military like Steve had. For all of Steve's hardships, he knew his sister had had it much worse in many ways than he had. The Navy had shown him his life, had laid it all out for him in deployments and ranks and medals.

Mary had never had any of that. Everything she had today she'd scrimped together on the experiences and crumbs life had given her and her own wit and sheer determination.

_Life on life's terms, or not at all_.

"Come home, Mary," Steve whisper kissed her hair, holding her as tightly as he could with his good arm. "Come back to Hawaii, huh? I don't like you all the way in Los Angeles, I miss you, I can't protect you if you're here; come home."

"Too many ghosts," Mary's hitched breathing was like a knife to Steve's heart. "Too much bad, Steve. I don't have to deal with any of that here. No one knows me and Joanie here. We're safe here."

Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd begged. He hadn't even begged for his mother not to leave him as she lay dying in front of him, but damn if he didn't now. "_Please_, Mary. Please? It's just you and me now, Mare. Dad's been gone, Mom just died, Joe White's dead, Aunt Deb's gone." His throat hurt as he swallowed down the pain, even some bile that was threatening to fight its way out, but no way would he get sick in front of his baby sister. "Joanie can come over on the weekends and play with Charlie and we can hang out on the beach; she can go to the elementary school we went to when we were little," he realized he was speaking and rocking Mary at the same time, just like he had when a police officer had come to their front door almost 30 years ago to tell them that their mother had been killed in a car crash. "It's just us, Mary. You and me. Come home."

He wouldn't swear to it, but he thought he felt her nod against his chest as her sobs turned to sniffles and then turned to nothing.

It was good enough for now.

**Hawaii Five-0**

Neither Steve nor Mary were in the mood to make dinner and Mary wasn't about to have Danny make dinner in her house. "One thing I did learn is that guests don't make the host's food." Her face was red and tear stained and her normally gravel like voice was rockier than usual, but she delivered her decision with her usual sarcasm and wry grin and Danny figured that was good enough to move on to option two.

"We could go out."

"Olive Garden's right down the street."

"Okay… uh, no," Danny shook his head, offended that Mary would even suggest such a place. "That's… that's a no."

"Hey, if we were on Oahu we could go to our not-our-restaurant." Steve was lounging on the sofa with Joanie and a book. She'd been reading to him for the last little while, eager to show off her new literacy skills to her Uncle Steve and it was the best thing he'd done since he'd gotten off the plane at LAX.

They eventually decided to throw care and caution to the wind and opted to grab a family meal from the Popeyes down the street and it wasn't long before they were tearing into chicken flavored with mild and spicy herbs, mashed potatoes, biscuits, fries and God knew what else Mary had bought.

"Why have I never had this," Steve was in the middle of devouring a spicy wing laden with hot sauce. Danny, who was watching him warily, turned to Mary. "I hope you have two bathrooms in this house."

"One in my room, one down the hall, but it's Joanie's, so," Mary took the opportunity to smack her brother on the arm. "Easy on that stuff. You're not blowing up Joanie's bathroom tonight and I'm sure as hell not letting you near mine."

Steve slowed down after that.

After everyone was finished eating, Danny cleaned up while Mary argued with Joanie on whether or not it was really bath time. "But Uncle Steve is here and he's never here and I want to stay with him!" Mary may not have given birth to Joan, but Steve would swear on Aunt Deb's grave that the pout she was giving Mary right now was every inch that of a McGarrett.

"Then you'd better stop arguing and get a bath really quick so that you can spend more time with him before you go to bed," Mary nudged her daughter down the hall and hung by the door until she heard the water going.

"This kid, man," she shook her head as she padded back to the living room and flopped on the couch next to her brother. "You can use my shower real quick if you want to. Do you even have any clothes? I didn't see you come in with any bags."

"Uh… no," Steve looked at Danny dumbly.

"Little carry on of toiletries, that's it," Danny supplied.

"So you've been wearing the same clothes for… what, two days? Three?"

"Yea," Danny grimaced. "It's been great, really."

Mary blinked rapidly for a few moments before stretching out her arm for her brother. "What?" Steve looked at her.

"Please make sure my daughter doesn't drown in the bath tub while I run out to Wal-Mart to buy clothes for you and Danny."

"Mare-"

"When I get back, I'll throw what you're wearing in the laundry." Mary wiggled her fingers at him impatiently. "Steve, come on!"

"Alright, alright, jeez," Steve took his wallet out, but found he was having some trouble getting his card out with one hand, so he just wound up tossing the entire thing at his sister. "Don't go crazy." She offered him a mock salute, heading for the front door. "Text me your pants sizes, guys." And she was gone.

"Wow," Danny looked at Steve after a few moments of quiet.

"Yea," Steve actually grinned, a full on, bright mega grin. "She's something, isn't she?"

Not even an hour later, Mary was back, carrying what looked like at least six bags and a small suitcase from what Steve could see. "Jeez, Mary, you didn't take out stock options too, did you?"

"If I did, they'd be in your name, so no real benefit to me there," she tossed the bags on the couch, pointing out what was in each one. "Shampoo – real shampoo, conditioner, disposable razors, shaving cream, bunch of other stuff-" Another bag: "Pajamas, sleepwear, boxers and briefs – Danny, sorry, I didn't know which one you were so I got you both."

"No problem," Danny wasn't going to be picky, especially when he'd worn the same underwear for the last couple of days.

"Shirts in here; Steve, they had cargo pants, so I got you two pairs of those. Some other stuff – oh, and this little suitcase you can put all this stuff in for when you fly home." She looked up at her brother and Danny. "Is my kid still alive?"

"She ran to get another book a few minutes ago," Steve went for the shampoo bag. "Thanks, Mary, really."

"Don't thank me yet, you haven't seen the receipt," Mary offered his wallet back to him, but Steve just shook his head and pulled her into a one-armed hug.

"Go. Shower. Please, Los Angeles has enough air quality problems without you adding to them," Mary shoved him gently towards her room, blinked when she saw Danny follow.

"Just going to help him with his sling and stuff," Danny supplied, and he was gone. Shrugging, Mary called after him to bring all of Steve's clothes back with him so that she could put them in the laundry, and ten minutes later, Danny did just that. "He okay?"

"Yea, you know he just got hit in the shoulder, won't have use of that arm for a little while. S'okay, he's used to it," Danny looked around. "Where should I put these?"

Mary held her hands out and Danny handed the clothes over to her. "If you want to change into the sweats I got you, I'll wash yours too," she called, and Danny thought that was a pretty good idea if he did say so himself. He grabbed some of the fresh clothes and changed in Mary's room, checking with Steve that he was still okay while he was doing so, and then came back out, finding Mary in the laundry room and handing over his clothes. "Thanks for all this, Mary. I know we uh… we kind of dropped in on you unannounced."

"Well, you probably know that even with one kid, I'm always ready to do a load of laundry and eat take out, so it's really no big deal," Mary tossed his clothes into the washer with Steve's, dropped some detergent in, and started the cycle. "Besides, considering what Steve had to tell me, I'm glad you guys stopped here to tell me in person. That's… that's not really something I wanted to hear over the phone, you know. Once was enough." She moved out of the laundry room and Danny followed behind her.

"So, what'd you do?" Mary raised a brow at him. "Run out to D.C. once you heard Steve was alive?"

"Uh, yea, basically," Danny offered a sheepish smile her way. "I don't know how much he told you-"

"Pretty much everything; CIA gave him a shit mission when he's not even one of their agents or whatever, told him to bring Mom home and that cartel woman, told me that Mom was sleeping with her. He told me about how she died and that Mom took the money she'd embezzled and stuck it in an account for Joanie and… yea," she flashed a smile that held about as much warmth as the Arctic Circle. "Told me the CIA didn't allow anyone to come with him, which I guess explains why you weren't there when everything happened."

Danny sucked in a breath. "Yea." After a beat, he added: "I would've if I could've. If he'd've let me. But this one, Mary…"

"I know. It was either go after Mom and try to bring her back alive or the CIA would find her and bring her back dead. He had to try. I get it." She shook her head. "He always had faith in her that she would eventually drop the CIA and leave that life and come back home. Be the mom that we remember when we were kids. I thought so too, for a while. And then she left. Again. By her own choice. So." She shrugged. "There you go, I guess."

Mary started in on the bags, emptying them and placing what she knew Steve and Danny wouldn't use in the suitcase she'd bought them. Danny left her alone to do it, a lifetime of living with women, from his mother to his sisters to his ex-wife to his daughter giving him the wisdom to allow Mary to take the task on by herself. She was sorting through her mind as she was sorting through packaged shirts and socks, and Danny knew that was a kind of therapy all on its own. So, he headed for the kitchen to see if there was anything else he could clean up and found a sink full of dishes that needed washing. He was just about done when Mary walked in, chewing her lip.

"You don't have to do those."

"Stop it, alright?" Danny looked over his shoulder. "We dropped in on you with half an hour's notice, you got crappy news about your mom, you bought us dinner, and then you ran back out and got clothes and shampoo for us. The least I can do is the dishes."

Mary shrugged and let it go. "Steve's still in the shower."

"Yep."

"He's been in there for like, 15 minutes now."

"You check on him?"

"Yea, around the ten-minute mark," Mary leaned against the counter. "He said he'd be out in a bit, but… man, 15 minutes?"

"I know," Danny grinned. "Kinda proud of him, actually. Then again, he only has one working arm, so-"

"So, one of you should have remembered to bring me some fresh clothes?"

Mary jumped about a foot in the air. Danny dropped the last dish he'd been working on the sink. And then there was Steve, towel wrapped around his waist and being held onto by one hand, dripping wet, an unimpressed look on his watery face as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Oops," Mary said, not quite so innocently. "I'll grab you something. Hey, Danny, you could help too. Surf buddies, right?"

Danny blinked. "You did that on purpose?!"

"Hey, I just found out my mother died because she'd gone dirty on a drug cartel and was sleeping with the head honcho. I needed a laugh in my life. Sue me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally believe that Mary was done with Doris when Doris hopped a boat to China at the end of Season 3. I think she’d be upset, she’d be disappointed, she’d be hurt, but I don’t know that she’d be as broken up as Steve about it simply because I don’t think she had as much faith or hope in Doris as Steve did. Mary also never felt the sense of responsibility that Steve felt for their mother, and she was never tasked with the responsibility of his mother either, so while I think Steve is going to be riding the self-guilt train for a while after 10.07, I don’t think Mary will have that problem.
> 
> Hence Mary having a bit of fun at Steve’s (wet and partially naked) expense.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She plays on the local association for her elementary school here,” Mary watched Joanie score a ‘goal’ on Danny. “Do they have soccer teams for kids her age on Oahu?”
> 
> Steve almost missed the implication of the question, but he smiled softly once he got it. “I can check.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0, as well as the characters found within the series, are owned by CBS Productions, K/O Paper Products, and 101st Street Productions. No profit is being made off of this work._

**Hawaii Five-0**

Danny eventually figured out through the haze of sleep that the bee flitting and buzzing about in his dream was actually his cell phone vibrating next to his head. He blinked the dream he'd been having away, letting his eyes adjust to his surroundings. Right. Mary's house. Los Angeles. He and Steve had taken the pullout couch in the living room. His current bedmate had pillowed his head in the crook of Danny's shoulder and was breathing deep and even. Even with Danny's phone sitting on the arm rest on his side of the sofa bed, Steve was programmed to wake at the first vibrate of the phone; it was a testament to how exhausted Steve was that he slept right through Danny reaching for his cell and answering it.

"Yea."

"_Hey_."

"Junior. It's…" Danny pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment to gauge the time, "4:00am over there, what are you even doing awake?"

"_Jet lag_."

Yea, right. That was the kind of answer Steve would've given way back when, would probably still give if he'd gone on an international special ops mission and had barely slept. Making sure to keep his voice low, Danny asked, "What's going on?"

"_Just checking in. How is he_?"

"Sleeping," Danny answered. "You know, he's tired, but he's getting there."

"_Yea_."

"How are things back home?"

"_Quiet_," Junior said after a moment. "_Everyone took the day off to catch up on sleep, flexing the over time we all worked while Steve was gone_."

"Except you."

"_Yea, well_."

Danny got it. He really did. Steve was the same way. "Junior. Go home. You're off the next two days at least. I don't want to see a zombie when we get back home and I doubt Steve wants to either. I'll text Lou and let him know."

"_Yes, Sir_."

"Alright. Good. Thank you…" Danny glanced at the brown tufts of hair on Steve's head. "Really, Junior, I mean it. Thank you." And Junior instinctively knew that Danny wasn't thanking him for agreeing to head home without a fight.

"_He'd have done the same for me_."

"Yea, he would've." Danny closed his eyes; no doubt about that. "Go home. Now." He clicked the phone and sent a typo ridden text with his one thumb to Lou that looked something like _I tpld Junir to go hme 2 days off_ and plopped the phone on his stomach, closing his eyes. Steve slept on, undisturbed, but Danny, having evolved more into Steve's belief that once you woke up, you should be up, remained conscious, listening to Steve's snuffling soft snores until a movement caught the corner of his eye.

Mary stood in the hallway, head tilted to the side, watching silently. "Interesting," she muttered after a few seconds before padding her way to the kitchen. Not long thereafter, Danny caught the first hints of coffee. Knowing Steve would be awake soon (since Danny himself had programmed Steve to be awake with coffee on the off chance that Danny woke up before his partner did on the weekends they slept over each other's houses) Danny carefully and quietly slipped off the makeshift bed, making sure that Steve's bad arm was supported with a pillow under it, and followed Mary into the kitchen, folding his arms as he watched her move around the kitchen.

"I decided to let Joanie stay home today. She doesn't get to see him often enough and I know he misses her, so," she shrugged, pulling mugs out of the cupboard. "I don't have the super vegan hippie butter he likes, so the regular butter will have to do."

"You know, no matter how many times I see him mix that stuff into his coffee, it's still more disgusting then walking in on a crime scene done up by Charlies Manson." Danny shuffled forward a bit. "What uh, what did you mean back there?" He tossed a thumb over his shoulder towards the living room.

"Back where?"

"In the living room. You came out, looked at us, and said 'interesting'? What'd you mean?"

Mary shrugged. "I've never seen Steve sleep longer than anyone else before."

Bullshit. Danny smelled it from a mile away. "Uh-huh," he muttered, letting it go. "I'm gonna go brush my teeth, then I'll make breakfast."

"You don't have-"

"I'm making breakfast, Mary; we dropped in on you unexpected, you bought dinner last night, you ran out and got stuff for me and Steve. I'm making breakfast. I'll be right back." Danny headed for the living room but got as far as the doorway into it. Waving at Mary, he beckoned her over and pointed to the scene in front of him. There was Joanie, tucked into Steve's stomach, using his side as a pillow while her legs stretched out on the side of the bed parallel with his arm. Mary laughed softly, hurrying back over to the counter to grab her phone and coming back, quickly snapping a photo. "Big bad Navy SEAL by day, cuddle-pup by night," she grinned. Danny couldn't help but agree.

The morning was spent lounging around the house before Mary decided to show the boys the local park Joanie liked to go to. As they walked, Joanie running just ahead of them, Mary and Danny swapped stories about their kids while Steve tagged along beside them, mostly just enjoying the conversation without having to contribute and instead choosing to take the job of 'carrier of the soccer ball' incredibly seriously. For most of the afternoon, the foursome kicked the soccer ball around and Joanie showed off her skills for her Uncle Steve, who had to admit to Mary as Joanie dribbled the ball against Danny (who was woefully under skilled at soccer but great at every other sport he played) that his niece was pretty good, especially for her age.

"She plays on the local association for her elementary school here," Mary watched Joanie score a 'goal' on Danny. "Do they have soccer teams for kids her age on Oahu?"

Steve almost missed the implication of the question, but he smiled softly once he got it. "I can check."

Mary nodded. "Let me know." She took a breath. "I'm not saying yes, Steve, not yet. There's too much up in the air. For one, it's crazy expensive to live in Hawaii and I'm not sure I could find a job that would take care of both me and Joanie. But I miss you, and Joanie misses you… you're my only family left, you know?"

"Yea," Steve wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her close. "I know. Mom, Dad, Aunt Deb… you're all I got now too, Mare."

She shook her head. "You've got Danny, too."

"Yea, I do," Steve laughed. "But Danny's not you."

"No, he's definitely not me," Mary smirked a little. "Couldn't help but walk into the living room this morning to see you curled up against him, practically sleeping on him. You've never done that with me, not even when we thought Mom died the first time. You not telling me something, bro?"

Steve laughed against her hair.

And didn't answer.

**Hawaii Five-0**

Mary saw Steve and Danny off at the airport the next morning, hugging each of them outside of the Departures drop off. "I'll come for Christmas," Mary told Steve as she stepped back. "We can stay at the house?"

"Of course," Steve hugged her again. "You're always welcome whenever, Mary, you know that." He stepped away, letting Danny get his hug in.

"Please take care of him," Mary whispered into Danny's ear.

"I will," Danny gave her a gentle squeeze before pulling away. "Tell Joanie we said goodbye."

Mary nodded and waved, giving her brother a lingering look before taking a few steps back and heading for her car. She pulled off a few moments later and Steve and Danny headed into LAX, making their way first to the car rental kiosk to drop the keys off and then through the throngs of people to the check-in so they could register their tickets.

As Steve handled their tickets, Danny felt his phone buzz and reached into his pocket, pulling it out. On the screen was a text from Mary. _I meant it. Please take care of him. I may be his sister, but you're everything to him. Don't take that lightly, Danny_.

Danny didn't know how to respond, so he let it sit, slipping his phone back into his pocket and following Steve to the terminal where their flight was set to take off within the hour. The boys occupied their time by visiting the McDonalds – "Proud of you, babe. I've never seen you eat a Big Mac before." – and the gift kiosk – "What do you think Grace and Charlie would want, Danny?" – before their flight was called and boarding began. Danny's seat was an aisle seat, but seeing as how Steve was ridiculously tall and he actually preferred the window seat so that he wouldn't feel as if he were a sardine suffocating in a can, Danny slipped into the row first, telling Steve that he and his legs could enjoy the extra room.

As flights went, it wasn't a bad one. Hawaiian Air was as filled with aloha spirit as all of the Hawaiian Islands put together, and six hours later, Steve and Danny were pulling up to the jetway to gentle ukulele music playing over the plane's speaker system. As they disembarked, Steve dug his phone out of his pocket to text Mary that they'd made it home safely. Danny followed behind him, little suitcase rolling along loyally as they zigged and zagged through the airport to the parking lot outside, making their way to the law enforcement lanes. Steve raised an eyebrow.

"You parked in the LEO parking while you were gone?"

"Yep."

"For a non-official purpose."

"Uh-huh," Danny hit the fob of the Camaro, unlocking the doors and the trunk. Steve smiled softly, shaking his head as he lifted the trunk's opening for Danny to toss their luggage into. "Thanks, Danno."

"Yea, well. I wasn't really going to fight a bunch of tourists for a parking spot, not after what happened," Danny closed the trunk and motioned for Steve to get in, shaking his head at his partner's pout. "Nope. Not while that sling is on your arm." He ignored Steve's put-upon sigh and got in the driver's seat, knowing Steve would follow him a few seconds later. Danny pulled out into traffic and was soon heading towards the city.

"Can we drop by headquarters first?"

The word 'no' was on the tip of Danny's tongue but when he looked at Steve's expression, Danny sighed and settled for, "why?"

"I just want to check in with everyone," Steve squirmed in his seat a bit, "see how things are."

Danny groaned, but he changed into the lane that would put them on the quickest route to the palace. Ten minutes later, they were pulling into the parking lot. "Not long, okay? And expect to take the rest of this week off, Steve."

"It's Saturday tomorrow, Danny."

"Exactly. I know you and your weekend excursions," Danny got out of the car, following Steve into the palace. To say that the rest of the team was surprised to see him was an understatement, all except for Junior, that is. Upon seeing Steve walk into the bullpen, Junior stopped what he was doing and held out a hand for Steve to grasp, pulling him into a tight hug, Steve's sling and Danny's wince be damned. Lou, Adam, and Tani followed soon thereafter, each expressing their condolences to Steve for losing his mother. Steve accepted them all gracefully, but the constant glances to the floor and shuffling dance he was doing told Danny there was another reason other than just checking in that Steve wanted to drop by Five-0.

"I wanted to apologize to you guys."

"Steve-"

"Sir-"

"Man, come on-"

"No, guys," Steve held up a hand, quieting everyone with a look. "I know the CIA gave me a raw deal, an impossible mission. But that doesn't change the two months of silence and worry and God knows what else you all were thinking or feeling while I was gone. And yea, I know you don't want to hear it, that you don't think I need to say it, but I do, so… I'm sorry. For the worry, for scaring you, for having to force you guys to stand down when I know," he swallowed, shooting a glance Danny's way, who stood quietly beside him, hands in his pockets, jaw locked, "I know that all you guys wanted to do was come with me and have my back. It's what I'd do for each of you. And I hope you know that."

"We know that, Sir," Junior murmured, looking at Steve with such a fierce loyalty that Danny almost missed the glint of anger in his eyes. Junior was so much like Steve; neither man really ever got angry, or furious, or pissed off. Maybe it was because they'd seen so much horror in their lives with the work they'd done in the military that they knew what was worth getting truly angry about and what simply needed to be let go. Either way, Danny recognized the ire, the resentment in Junior's eyes for what it was, and it had nothing to do with Steve and everything to do with the CIA.

Danny briefly wondered if there was a rivalry between covert military teams like the SEAL's and the top intelligence agency in the United States. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and took it out, seeing Rachel's name on the screen. Leaving Steve with the team for a few minutes, he stepped inside his office and accepted the call. "Hey, we landed about a half hour ago. Steve wanted to drop by work."

"_Work? What on Earth for_?"

"I… you know, Steve. It's hard to keep him away."

"_You too_," Rachel smoothly sent back. Danny couldn't really argue with her on that one. "_Grace has been asking after you. She wanted to know if Steve would be up to seeing her and Charlie this afternoon_?"

"Uh…" As much as Danny loved his children, and missed them, and he did, dearly, he wasn't sure if Steve was in the frame of mind to have much company.

"_Ask him, Danny, don't decide for him_," Rachel suggested in her own, brusque way. "_I don't know what happened to him, but I do know he's been some place he hasn't wanted to be for the last two months. Perhaps giving him the freedom to make these little choices, even if he is tired and should be resting, may be the best course of action_."

Danny couldn't fault her logic, as annoyed as it made him. "I'll text you in a little bit. If he's good with it, can you drop them off at his place?"

"_Of course_."

Hanging up, Danny turned and headed back into the bullpen, pleased to see that Steve was laughing at some kind of story Lou was entertaining him with. Danny had seen Steve offer soft chuckles here and there over the past few days, but a full, loud, outright laugh had been a long way off until now.

"Hey uh, that was Rachel," Danny held his phone up as everyone else turned to look at him. "She wanted to know if you wanted to see the kids this afternoon? She'd drop them by if you want, but if you don't-"

"I do," Steve was practically standing at attention. "I do. When?"

"I told her I'd ask you and then text her and let her know a time."

"Go home, Steve," Lou clapped Steve on his good shoulder. "Take the weekend; Hell, take all of next week too if you need, or even if you just want to. We got it this."

"I know Eddie will be happy to see you," Tani pipped up. "We all gave him as much attention as we could while you were gone, but we could tell he missed you, McGarrett."

"Alright, well, let's not keep the dog waiting," Danny waved his hand at Steve, who grinned; apparently, seeing Eddie again almost made him as happy as seeing Grace and Charlie. With assurances that Steve would, at the very least, take the weekend off before even considering returning to work (and with Danny announcing that he would simply move in with Steve for the weekend to ensure that happened) both of the guys left, Steve receiving hugs and well wishes from everyone before he departed. Danny shook his head at his partner as they crossed the parking lot to the car.

"What?"

"What, he asks," Danny got into the Camaro. "You, thinking you have to apologize to us for what those assholes at the CIA put you through. Ah, no!" Danny held a finger up, stopping Steve's protests. "One of these days, babe, you're going to learn to let go of guilt not well earned."

**Hawaii Five-0**

Grace and Charlie were exactly what Steve needed, and adding in Eddie chasing Charlie around the back yard made everything perfect. Grace caught Steve up on her first few months of college while Danny cobbled dinner together. Thankfully, Junior had kept up with the grocery shopping while Steve had been gone and soon, they were all eating burgers, hot dogs, fries, and apple sauce. In leu of beer, which Danny was still keen to keep Steve away from while his shoulder healed and he was taking medication, (even if he was dosing himself 'as needed' and not according to the actual instructions on the bottle which never failed to drive Danny a little up the wall), waters and sodas were available in plentiful amounts.

By the time Rachel came to pick up the kids, Charlie was practically asleep on the couch, Eddie was asleep on the couch, and Grace was lamenting the homework she had back at her dorm. "Soon as you're done with that paper, come over here and we'll hang out more," Steve pressed a kiss into her hair and held her tightly.

"I'm glad you're home, Uncle Steve," Grace murmured quietly. "I'm really sorry about your mom."

Steve swallowed down the pain in his throat. "Thanks, Grace," he squeezed her tightly once more and let her go ahead of Rachel, who had Charlie in her arms, Danny holding the little backpack his son had brought along.

"If there's anything we can do, Steven, please don't hesitate to call," Rachel offered, surprising Steve. It must have shown on her face because she only gave him an exasperated look and said, "I know we don't know each other all that well and you likely have some feelings about me one way or another, but my children adore you. They love you very much. So, if there's anything you need." She left it there, carrying Charlie out with her. Danny waved that he'd be back in soon, and true to his word, not even five minutes later, Danny was in the house, standing in front of Steve, who hadn't yet left the living room. He could tell having the kids over had taken most of the energy Steve had, but the glow his partner was left with was more than worth it after the dull depression and subsequent sadness his life had been for the last eight weeks.

"Why don't you head out back, huh? I'll grab us a few beers."

Steve rolled his eyes. "You're actually letting me drink a beer now?"

"I mean, I don't have to get you one at all, I can just get you another water if you're gonna be like that."

Steve held a hand up in surrender, buttoning his mouth closed and headed for the backyard. By the time Danny arrived a few minutes later with the beers, Steve was sacked out in his chair, watching the waves roll into the shore one by one and leave the way they came. Danny put Steve's beer by him, uncapped, and took a seat in his own chair, following the other man's example and simply staying quiet, allowing Steve the opportunity to start a conversation if he wanted. And he did after about 15 minutes of listening the water and accompanying night life.

"Mary might move out here."

"Yea?" Danny lifted an eyebrow. "She said that?"

Steve shrugged. "She'd have to find a place she could afford, and she'd want the same quality of life for Joanie that she has now – sports and stuff like that, which wouldn't be a problem. I told her she could stay here as long as she needed till she found a house or an apartment, whatever."

"That's good, babe," Danny nodded his head approvingly. "You'd get to see a lot more of her and Joanie, watch Joanie grow up, have them around for the holidays..."

"Yea, that's the idea," Steve finally took a sip of his beer. "I thought I'd have another Christmas party here this year. Mary said she'd visit for the holidays, so might be nice to have everyone over."

"I'll try not to get shot this year," Danny said, and winced as soon as it came out of his mouth. "Sorry," he muttered quietly. "Poor joke."

Steve shook his head. "I know what you meant. I told you not to do that, not to change. God, Danny in my life right now, the last thing I need is you changing or walking on eggshells around me just because of everything that's happened. You're…" He shifted a bit in his seat, whether it was out of physical discomfort or emotional, Danny couldn't tell.

"Junior put together a team and came and got me out, got me and my mother out, killed Perez, and I know he's the one that came to you and told you to plan to get all that done," Steve leveled a gaze at him. "I know he had to sell you for you to let him come out here."

"You looking for an apology from me now? For okaying Junior's op?"

"No. I just… one of the things that kept me awake at night was knowing everyone was sitting back home scared out of their minds, waiting to hear from me. I knew the team would be bad, but I knew you'd be the worst." Steve swallowed hard, setting his beer off to the side. After a few days of wanting one and not being allowed to by Danny, it suddenly tasted like ash in his mouth. "I knew the kids would be scared to death. But I need you to know that even if I could've had you with me, I still would've left you here."

Danny must have hard him wrong. "Excuse me?" His tone held a dangerous line in it. Steve either didn't hear it or chose to ignore it. Probably the latter.

"One of the few comforts to me while I was in Mexico was knowing you weren't where I was, that you were safe back home with the team and with your kids. As bad as it was, me knowing that? Knowing you were safe? As pissed as you probably were with the whole situation, and with the kind of hand that I was dealt? That meant everything to me."

_I may be his sister, but you're everything to him. Don't take that lightly, Danny_.

Mary's words came back to Danny unbidden, but not un-welcome, because Danny was gearing up for one of his more colorful explosions. But the memory of the text stopped him in his tracks, and he changed course.

"You know, when Rachel came out here with Grace, I had nothing," Danny suddenly said, staring at the now black ocean in front of him. "I was living in a slum, just barely making it to the next pay day, fighting and scrapping for every hour with my daughter I could get. Half of HPD couldn't stand me because I'd taken a detective spot that was 'supposed to go to a local'," Danny quoted his fingers in the air, "and the other half couldn't be bothered to care about me because I was a white guy with a Jersey accent and a tie who didn't want to blend in. That was my life. That's what life handed me, and I thought, same as you, you know; Life is on life's terms, because there was no way in Hell I would've chosen any of that for myself."

"And then you came and kidnapped me into your crazy world of half ass procedure and explosions and black ops missions, and I remember after the first month, I'd banged up my leg pretty good and my doctor told me that if I wanted to save my knee, save myself the surgery and the rehab, that I needed to get a new partner. And I had a choice right then, you know? I could've followed my doc's advice, handed you my resignation, and left Five-0. But I didn't."

"Why not?" Steve asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I guess because life… Rachel… her lawyers… HPD… they'd all been making decisions for me and I wanted to make my own choices, on my own terms," Danny lifted his brow, giving Steve a sidelong glance. "You got dealt a shit hand, Steve, with everything you've had handed to you in your life. Your dad, your mom, Wo Fat, Catherine, Greer… you could've left everyone and everything behind like Cath did, you could've betrayed your country and your team like Greer did – God knows after everything the CIA has put you through, I can't say I wouldn't have considered it," Danny folded to the side in his chair. "You could've gone rogue like your Mom did and tried to land a payday. You could've pushed everyone away from you that you loved, sent everyone away like your dad did or been hell bent on vengeance like Wo Fat was. But you didn't. Life gave you all those opportunities, practically begged you to do at least two of those things, but you didn't."

"What's your point?" Steve tipped the beer into his mouth a bit, but Danny could tell he was listening.

"Life on life's terms only goes as far as the choices you make when life throws you curveballs," Danny tucked his beer in between his legs and admired the inky waves rolling up onto the shore, letting Steve absorb that little fortune cookie thought.

"You've never done any of those things."

Danny looked over at Steve to find him gazing right back at him. He gave the slightest shake of his head. "No."

"You never would, either, would you." Steve said it like it was a revelation. Danny smiled.

"Probably not."

"I'm tired, Danny," Steve leaned back, closed his eyes. "I'm tired of losing people, whether it's because they're killed or because they leave or they turn on me. Over the past couple of years, I've started to wonder if I'll ever get some kind of happiness, some kind of peace in my life… and it just hit me that you've never done any of those things. You never would."

Danny nodded his head slowly, pursing his lips. "So, what are you saying?"

"That this life… Five-0, I love Five-0, I love being a cop, I don't want to give that up. But my whole life's been the job, whether it was when I was in the Navy or when I came home to run the task force. And I don't want my life to be like that anymore. I want… I don't know, I used to think that I wanted someone to come home to, someone to just be with when I had down time, someone to talk to, to trust, and I just realized I have someone like that." Steve shifted towards Danny just a little. "It's you, Danny. You've always been there, always been with me through everything for the last ten years. And I never used to really think anything of that, except when I saw you on the other side of that door in D.C., I realized there was no one else I would've rather had with me in that moment than you."

"There was nowhere else I wanted to be."

Danny's soft admission was enough for Steve to reach across the table, his hand held out, waiting for Danny to take, which he did after a few moments of staring at it as if the limb were some kind of complex math equation.

"Back in D.C., in the hotel, you said everything would be okay, that it would be on our terms," Steve murmured quietly. Danny nodded; he'd said it and meant it then, and he still did. "I did."

"I kind of want to see what life looks like, you know… on our terms."

The number of times Danny had seen shyness creep onto Steve's face could be counted on one hand. His mouth moved this way and that, contemplating and thinking and turning over things in his mind until he eventually squeezed Steve's hand in answer.

Steve seemed thrown at the easy acceptance. "Yea?"

Danny nodded. "Yea." He could see the palpable relief on Steve's face, and not even the ocean waves could cover the intake of breath his partner gulped down. "I told you there was no where else I'd rather be than in D.C. with you, and that was the truth. But Steve, aside from my kids, I always wind up choosing you over everything else." He squeezed Steve's hand again. "Gotta be a reason for that, you know?"

Steve nodded, looking so grateful that Danny's heart nearly flipped and broke simultaneously. Danny drained the rest of his beer and stood up, pulling Steve with him. "C'mon."

"Where-?"

"I'm beat. I know if I leave you out here for five minutes alone, I'm gonna find you asleep snoring up half of your beach," Danny pulled Steve along with him as he headed back up to the house. "We can get ready for bed, get some sleep, and maybe discuss some of these terms of yours."

Steve slung an arm over Danny's shoulder, dropping his nose into his partner's hair.

"Sounds perfect, Danno."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really am leaving it here this time. After I put the first chapter up, I felt the urge to keep going; it just didn’t feel finished, but now, NOW it does feel finished. I also wrote the ending before episode 10.08, so the ‘Danny dodging’ that we see at the beginning of that episode likely wouldn’t fit with the ending of this story.
> 
> I also used this story as a kind of writing exercise for myself. There are so many times where I feel that my stories are long winded, wordy, that they aren’t as concise as they could be, so I really wanted to focus on writing just enough to get the ideas/message/story-of-the-scene across that I wanted without going into every single solitary conversation that, for example, Steve and Mary would’ve had while Steve and Danny were in L.A. All in all, I think I did a fairly good job in accomplishing that goal (though by no means does it mean that I’m going to start writing ALL of my stories in this fashion – sometimes, a girl has a lot to say!)
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and reading my little corner of A03 <3


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